6 behaviors that make people respect you more

People don’t need to know very much about you to make a snap judgment about the kind of person you are.

You can take advantage of this by making a few subtle shifts in your everyday behavior.

These will improve the perception people have of you:

your physical appearance

We can’t change how we came out of the womb, but we can maximize our appearance.

There’s a reason you feel better after a haircut or a manicure. What does it say about you? Looking at a body we like in the mirror makes a difference.

We might claim that caring about how we look is shallow, but deep down you know it’s key and will alter the perception others have of you greatly.

That’s nature. It’s reality. Your resistance to this will keep you miserable.

Stop always being available

You don’t always need to respond to that text.

You don’t always need to smile, laugh or get back to people. You shouldn’t be always available, and your real life can reflect this. It can’t be an act. It is a sense of scarcity that creates the perception of high value.

Create a life that makes you and your time scarce.

Talk less.

I was always ashamed that I spoke little at school. Much of this came out of my shyness, but even today, I often find it difficult to find the words.

This is ok because speaking less demonstrates comfort in one’s own skin if coupled with a relaxed demeanor. It gives the other person a chance to speak more, which most appreciate, and pitches you as open, thoughtful, and generous with the space you give.

Speaking less also generates a mystery about you that keeps people interested, and wanting to know more about you.

Be relaxed and move slow.

Quick movements and fidgeting make you appear like a nervous woodland creature in the headlights.

You can encourage relaxation, and even a calmer mind, by moving a little slower. It’s a positive loop. Not rushing around like a headless chicken signal you are in control; you have time, and you go at your own pace.

This alone will shift the perspective others have of you as well as the one you have of yourself.

Talk a fraction slower.

One of the major contributors to my overcoming social anxiety was adopting a thing called ‘slow talk.’

Talking slower helped tremendously. Why? Because it gives me time to think. It slowed me physically and slowed my thinking too. This is what an anxious me needed most. Space.

This works for anyone. Most of us are rushing through life and wondering why we’re anxious.

Talk slower and you will calm down, elevate your perceived status, and garner respect.

Hold people’s eyes.

Nothing says ‘I’m confident and I am interested in other people than holding someone’s gaze, especially for a little longer than might feel comfortable.

This will stand out in a fidgety world where everyone is avoiding each other’s gaze, glued to the adult version of the baby’s dummy — their phones.